With only two and a half years to go before his time as vice president ends, Biden knows that he only has a short time to secure his place in history alongside Hannibal Hamlin and Spiro Agnew.
After he was buzzed in, the president said, "Have a seat, Joe."
The president tapped his fingers on his desk, looking like a man trying to figure out a way to break bad news.
"Do you remember C. J. Huff, Joe?"
"That high school football player from West Virginia? That kid has pro written all over him."
"Not that C. J. Huff. The other one."
"The one who cries?"
"That's the one. He wants me to come to Joplin October 3."
"Good people in that part of Missouri."
"Yes, there are, but I am not going to be able to go."
"G-8 Summit?"
The president shook his head.
"Legislative strategy session with John Boehner and Harry Reid?"
"No."
The vice president thought and thought, but nothing came to him, then suddenly he had a thought."
"Golf?"
The president nodded. "I have to, Joe. The Republicans expect it."
"It's a shame. Those are good people in Joplin."
"I want you to go in my place."
"They're not that good."
'And take Arne Duncan. Please."
Joe Biden had seen that look before in Barack Obama's eyes. He was not going to be able to talk his way out of this one. "All right," he sighed. "What's C. J. doing this time?"
"He's dedicating the new Joplin High School. If you remember the old one was destroyed in the tornado."
"That's a good thing for the people of Joplin," Biden said. " I can't wait to see the auditorium."
"Not going to happen- unless C. J. invites you back after Hillary is sworn into office."
"The auditorium is not ready?"
The president shook his head.
"No matter, I'll make my speech and talk about the wonderful test scores the Joplin School District has." Seeing the look on the president's face, he said, "No wonderful test scores?"
"My approval ratings are higher."
"Then I will talk about C. J. Huff and what a wonderful man he is." The president just shook his head.
"Then what do you want me to talk about?" Biden asked.
"Just say nice things about Joplin and help them cut their six-and-a-half-mile ribbon."
"Six-and-a-half-mile ribbon? Wait, that gives me an idea of how to secure our borders."
The president shook his head. "Turner's already blogged that one."
"That's a shame. Well, I will do my best, Mr. President."
"I know you will, Joe."
As the vice president was preparing to leave, he had a thought. "While I am there, I might as well..."
A look of panic came over the president. "Whatever you do, Joe, do not, I repeat, do not say 'might as well.' They're not too happy with that phrase in Joplin."
"That was the last idea I had, Mr. President. I'm all spent."
"So are they, Joe, So are they."
I hate to think that they discussed him that much. It is ridiculous to have this big rally when the HS is not even finished yet. He just makes all of Joplin seem as ignorant as he is.
ReplyDeleteexcellent satire
ReplyDeleteThis is so funny! Thanks for the humor
ReplyDelete"The one who cries?" AHAHAHAHAHA! Thx Randy
ReplyDeleteRoflmaoooooooo!!!!!
ReplyDeleteNow that was funny!!!
This is excellent! I would love to hear, "The rest of the story."
ReplyDeleteThat was great. Needed that pick me up!
ReplyDeleteShould of sent the speaker of the house John Boehner,Huff could have sold kleenex
ReplyDeleteIn light of the audit, I wonder does anyone know if CJ Napoleon Huff & Puff will invite former IRS employee Lois Lerner just in case someone in the district decides they "might as well" learn how to make expenses and incriminating emails disappear and blackberries destroyed so the auditors cant see them? If so--maybe Lois can also give Shawn McGrew advice on how to timely pay taxes!
ReplyDeletethanks for Mr Humphrie for getting the audit but his spokesperson IS A JERK
ReplyDeletePlease, remember this! ��
ReplyDelete"On May 3 2011, at a national event in Washington, Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. did the unthinkable - He publicly revealed the identity of the special-operations unit responsible for bin Laden’s killing, just to show that he "is in the know".
His reckless action put at risk the lives of every member of Seal Team 6. The Taliban and other jihadists eager to avenge bin Laden now knew which unit to target. Stunned and shocked, Seal Team Six members immediately realized they were going to be hunted by al Qaeda sympathizers.
Soon after Bidens reckless idiotic speach, an American CH47 Chinook was shot down by a rocket propelled grenade in the Tangi Valley, Maidan Wardak Province, Afghanistan, all 38 aboard were killed including most if not all of Seal Team Six, this incident became known as Extortion 17... After Biden had let the identification out, and before the Chinook was shot down, members of Seal Team 6 had called their families and told them to wipe out all connection to them, including social media, and disassociate themselves as far away from them as possible because they to would be in grave danger as the Taliban would attmept to find them in retaliation...and Biden, well he didn't even drop a sweat over any of it, and was just to stupid to realize what he had done." Shared, not penned.