Others that are worth considering in light of tomorrow's dedication and the ceremonial cutting of the six-and-a-half-mile ribbon:
Biden to Huff- Six-and-a-half-mile ribbon- I know a place where they have magic beans
Homecoming bonfire planned to demonstrate 21st Century Burning
Flyover of Besendorfer in WGU Chancellor's Private Jet highlights ceremony
C. J. Huff- I was born in a log cabin I built myself
Joplin Globe- Vice President's visit to Joplin a boon to local economy
Arne Duncan- The way C. J. Huff runs this school is the way I run the Department of Education
Three R-8 executive directors sprain wrists clapping for C. J. Huff
Biden during C. J. Huff speech- He is the one who cries! I told you so!
Students sue C. J. Huff for saying ribbon was their idea
Biden during C. J. Huff speech: I know a place they can put that ribbon
13 comments:
CJ Huff: We shall take Webb City in twenty six days!
CJ Huff to Community: Told you so!
JHS band plays "Hail to the chief," as Huff takes the stage.
Admin leaks that the NEA vendetta against Huff reason real POTUS did not show.
CJ proclaims to press: "They love me...they really love me!!!"
Huff invites Bernie Madoff to explain district financing to ignorant citizens.
CJ caught on hidden microphone to VP: Says of Joplin citizens, 'Poor simple ba#@%#s"
Citizens to Huff: We can't miss you if you don't leave.
CJ quotes Taylor Swift to citizenry: "One day I'll be livin' in a big ole city, all you're ever gonna be is mean.'
Board President Anne Sharp defends 20 foot-jewel encrusted-platinum statue of Dr. Huff. As "Worth every penny!"
Rogue journalist Randy Turner cited by Huff administration as actual reason for district's pathetic performance.
Local politician announces his phone has been hacked, denies that it's him in the threesome. Says he's taking a step back from the buffet anyway, he's totally fed up and is taking a break today, will get up and get away.
Any rumors of a local newpaper guest columnist being involved in any kind of rumored leaked video remain a rumor. Columnist is rumored to be all tied up with a ribbon, is unable to deny rumors.
Ceremony begins, the band plays God Save The King as the King of R-8 and the board take the podium.
The King and all his hangers-on are all beaming with hubris as the cameras record their "Let Them Eat Cake and Ribbon" moment of infamy.
The band then plays Four Ruffles and Flourishes followed by Hail Columbia as the Vice President and Secretary of Education enter.
Less than 30 seconds into the King's opening remarks the band suddenly begins playing Inner Circle's Bad Boys as the King of R-8's microphone goes dead.
There are shocked looks all around for the 15 seconds the band plays, until the Vice President grabs the mike from the King of R-8 and signals the band to stop playing. "OK. I'd like to thank the band for learning that on short notice, good job! Bet you'd have sounded even better if you had somewhere to practice! Not to mention I'm told the old break a leg joke isn't funny around here anymore."
The Vice President turns to The King of R-8 and all of the board and hangers-on and asks "You think I'd come here just for the 5 mile ribbon?" He laughs and then says "Tell them what we are really here for Arne" as he hands the mike to Arne.
Arne replies "We're here to announce the new Department of Education Anti Fraud and Waste Squad! Never forget it should be all for the children OR ELSE! Coming from Chicago, I know when it comes to stealing or wasting you'd better be too big a fish to fit in the frying pan! Let me tell you it looks like there's no need to even get out the ruler around here. Bunch of bait." Arne hands the mike back to the Vice President.
The Vice President laughs and begins "My speech writers warned me I have to be careful how I say this, actually they are probably very nervous that I will fubar this up, but this ribbon invitation absolutely pegged my BRAVO SIERRA meter. Now I think the band has a Ray Orbison oldie for us to listen to while the rest of the financial records are being hauled out by the agents. Everyone tells me the King's favorite song is "Crying", so here we go!"
As the band plays (and the King of R-8 and his retinue look sick) the Vice President turns to the Secret Service agent on his right and asks "Did we figure out who tried to get us to arrest the blogger? What a bunch of f**ksticks! I can't believe they didn't learn anything after they invaded that Splitlevel Steve blogger's house. Out of county sheriff and just nothing but a clusterf**k. Like I said just get to the bottom of this sh*t and give that Randy guy a call to apologize. I know he doesn't buy all your reforms Arne, but neither does Jill. He does seem like a straight up guy, maybe I should invite him for a beer on the plane before we take off. That'd make these local joker's heads explode! So make it happen if you can reach him. When I was reading his online thing it seemed like he wasn't likely to be attending today. If only he had known and been able to get in here. Not being able to cover this punking and the sinkhole must be ruining his day."
The agent on the Vice President's left interrupts "Excuse me sir, but he's been posting a bunch of BREAKING updates on his blog the last twenty minutes, it looks like he snuck in here after all."
The Vice President smiles and says "Well what are you waiting for? Get me a live mike and I'll page him when the band is done with this song. Be sure to watch the looks on their faces over there. Hey while I'm thinking about it maybe the sinkhole in the parking lot with the buses and police cars in it would be a good photo op. Sasha and Malia won't believe it! The only way we do that though is if there are no injuries, so check that first ok?
Agent on the left interrupts again "Sir that is already a trending topic under Mission Accomplished, and it looks like the sinkhole just swallowed most of the VIP parking too. Our helicopter is hovering."
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