Carthage teacher: A letter to my pregnant student

Earlier this evening, I received a request from an old friend who had received permission to share this thoughtful, well-written message that Carthage High School Spanish teacher Caleb Bayless posted on his blog Educational Anecdotes.

As my career in education has unfolded, I have had many students walk through my door. None of a more unique situation than my students who are pregnant. Throughout the busy day, it is difficult to have a heart-to-heart with 30 other students in the room. If I could, the following letter is what I would say to them.

To my pregnant student:

You’re pregnant and in high school. There is a ton of media out there to show you what it’s like with cameras following you around or whatever highlights fit into the allotted time. But I want you to know this: your decision does not affect our teacher-student relationship. Much like the homecoming queen or black-lipstick wearing emo or the average-in-every way student sitting in the same classroom, you are a student.

I won’t…

…talk to you about your decision, that’s not my place. My job is to teach you. If you would like, I will discuss my experience and hopefully, you can learn something from that.

…admire your ability to juggle your responsibilities; welcome to the rest of your and everyone else’s lives. Use this time to learn your mental and physical limits; more than anything, learn to function on little sleep.

… condemn your pregnancy; you get that enough from people around town when they see a pregnant teen. Just understand the looks and words they send your way are simply their regurgitations from other sources. Keep your head up!

… celebrate your pregnancy anymore more than anyone else’s; you get enough of that from your friends. Don’t interpret that as I think there is anything less than a miracle happening inside your body, but my role isn’t to take a moment and do a backflip; my job is to keep you motivated to learn and grow as a person.

I will…

…understand that you need more bathroom breaks and to walk around sometimes for no other reason than just to move.

…remind you to keep drinking water. You’re working double-time, stay hydrated.

…give you a dirty look if you attempt to eat a five-pound bag of Sour Patch Kids all by yourself; what used to just be unhealthy is now harmful.

…understand you are tired and just want to go home; I won’t let you. My motivational words will be more gentle than with other students. You have to keep going!

… be understanding when you must miss class for your doctor’s appointments; even though my wife and I scheduled ours for after school, I understand you are possibly at the mercy of someone else’s ability to take you.

Finally, I want you to stop taking notes when you feel a kick or hiccup from that little person in your womb and enjoy those moments. There is nothing more special than what it is taking place inside your body and you need to enjoy it. You are having to learn a lot of tough lessons and I hope one of them is that your child is now more important than anything else. Because of them, stay in school and work twice as hard as before. Be an example to them before they even have the chance to realize what you’re doing.

Take care of yourself and take care of your baby,

Mr. Bayless

(Please check out and follow Mr. Bayless' blog for more of his thoughts on education.)