Tuesday, July 23, 2019

Paul Richardson: Oh, the woe of the summertime mow

(Paul Richardson's column, The Horse I Rode In On, is published weekly in the Neosho Daily News and Seneca News-Dispatch and on the Turner Report.)

Why do we mow? We don’t know! Yet it grows and so we mow. As we go, we grow a flow. Mow it tight and we will have to sow. Mow it right and it will grow. With the dog in tow, we mow, mow, mow!

Almost every kid in the Midwest receives mowing as the first assigned task. Growing up in Newtonia, we had a fairly large lawn. Owning a riding lawn mower was not in the stars in the beginning, so the task of mowing occupied a full day. At least for me as a kid it did.

As an adult I might have been faster, but my motivation as a kid was really high. The sooner I got done, well, the sooner I was done. However, for the most part I believed that I was being worked like a rented mule!

I actually like to mow. I got over the childhood aversion to, well in general, work. However, I don’t do much mowing anymore. Due to my grass allergies, the good wife decided years ago that the option of me mowing and then her enduring a night of me wheezing was less attractive than her just doing the task. 








On occasion I am able to convince her that if my air intake is properly filtered then I should be allowed to mow. When she permits me to embark under these conditions, then my breathing is closely monitored for the next 48 hours. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. When we have a failure it normally results in me be banned from mowing for a considerably long time.

One of the problems with my exclusion from the mowing task is that her mowing methods and patterns don’t necessarily coincide with what I would like. Being my dear mother’s son, I like the mow lines to be laid out in a particular direction and continuous in that direction as long as permitted. I like the grass discharge to be well dispersed and even. 

If the windrow is heavy due to excessive growth as experienced this year, I like to mow back over the windrow and either continue moving it to an area where it can be disposed of or dispersed evenly. In short, I like for the lawn to look like the Parade Deck at the Great Lakes Navy Installation. When our son Nick graduated from basic training at Great Lakes, I was impressed with the grounds. Of course, the Navy had a few hundred rented mules to work with!

The good wife is getting better about using the side opposite the discharge to mow closer to objects such as trees, in order to maximize the area covered by the riding mower. She prefers to trim with a push mower, so the weed eating is maintained by the grandson or myself. In fact, that is what I was doing early this morning while the temperature was at it’s coolest. I can sit inside and write when it is hot outside. One shouldn’t weed eat during the heat. (How did you like that? Kind of reminds you of the first paragraph, right?)

The good wife has also gradually reduced the total surface area being mowed. We can do that as we live out in the county. If you aren’t mowing it, it moves from the status as lawn to a status of pasture. 

However, years ago when I performed all of the mowing, I was questioned many times as to why I used a lawn tractor to mow the pasture. Those questioning my methods just couldn’t make the transition from pasture to lawn. The other direction works, but for some reason this was not a two-way street for them. Anything fenced or outside of a specific radius of the home is automatically determined to be pasture by some folks.

Leisure parks don’t exist in the county. That is, specifically outside of any corporate limits of a town or village. Sure, we have George Washington Carver National Park and some areas designated as State Parks but those are the only exceptions. Any place else that is “park like” is simply well-groomed pasture.

Due to the lawn versus pasture conundrum it is entirely possible that we may not need to mow at all. If the good wife and I were to come to that conclusion, our grandson would make some very derogatory remarks and attempt to re-designate us to an alternative social class. 

This already occurred once when we were slow about cleaning up the debris that the dog left strewn across the yard. We had just grown weary of trying to constantly pick up behind that pup. So, we will continue to mow. The grass will obviously continue to grow throughout the summer this year as this rain seems determined to continue. It would be so easy to just go native and make the case for every square foot to be pasture

No comments:

Post a Comment