Merry Christmas! When I was young my parents always made Christmas special, as a parent that task was ours to make the holiday special for our children. The good wife and I are in a new stage of life now, and so changes have occurred.
As I stated last week, I don’t normally write about holidays, but this year I am taking full advantage of the entire palette. I read a bit of advice on Facebook that stated, “You may buy your wife clothes, perfume or jewelry, but she will never forget the year that you buy her a mop!” My go-to was always a skillet and a pound of bacon, and she could keep the skillet.
In 2018, the good wife purchased a fire truck for me as a Christmas present. Since she won’t let me have a full-sized train, this was an excellent substitute. A Mayberry Police car would be a nice addition in the future.
Anyway, since she had purchased such an awesome item, I felt like the bar had been raised and I really needed to step up. No jokes about a mop or a skillet and a pound of bacon, I really needed to reach deep and acquiesce to something that I had resisted continually.
In years past the goodwife had repeatedly, and I stress repeatedly, stated that she wanted to go on a cruise. Not around the city square and down the boulevard, but one of those on a big boat, in deep water and to remote, foreign sounding places. My response had always been, “If I can’t take the motorcycle and ride there, I’m not going!” But this year, this year, she had bought me a fire truck. I stood tall and purchased a seven-day cruise in the Caribbean with three ports-of-call, a fine room with a king-sized bed and port window. Very cosmopolitan, indeed!
In order to avoid any confusion, I took the cruise information, laminated it with a label that said, “Caribbean Bacon” and placed in a skillet, then wrapped it in a series of boxes, like Matryoshka Dolls.
On Christmas Eve, everyone in the room was aware of the pending cruise. My dear mother, my children, and my grandsons, everyone knew. As she completed the opening procedure, which turned out to be rather lengthy and arduous, she finally arrived at the skillet and “fake” bacon. Being fully aware of my skillet story, she had this somewhat disgusted look on her face. As an effort to save myself, I began explaining the present, exciting everyone, but her look stayed the same.
The next day the good wife informed me that she no longer wanted to go on a cruise. This is where Christmas turned absurd. As a child, when all was good, I would never have imagined the emotions that were associated with this particular Christmas.
We went on the cruise in July 2018 and had a great time, but there is much more to this story. Keep it Merry, Christmas that is!
In years past the goodwife had repeatedly, and I stress repeatedly, stated that she wanted to go on a cruise. Not around the city square and down the boulevard, but one of those on a big boat, in deep water and to remote, foreign sounding places. My response had always been, “If I can’t take the motorcycle and ride there, I’m not going!” But this year, this year, she had bought me a fire truck. I stood tall and purchased a seven-day cruise in the Caribbean with three ports-of-call, a fine room with a king-sized bed and port window. Very cosmopolitan, indeed!
In order to avoid any confusion, I took the cruise information, laminated it with a label that said, “Caribbean Bacon” and placed in a skillet, then wrapped it in a series of boxes, like Matryoshka Dolls.
On Christmas Eve, everyone in the room was aware of the pending cruise. My dear mother, my children, and my grandsons, everyone knew. As she completed the opening procedure, which turned out to be rather lengthy and arduous, she finally arrived at the skillet and “fake” bacon. Being fully aware of my skillet story, she had this somewhat disgusted look on her face. As an effort to save myself, I began explaining the present, exciting everyone, but her look stayed the same.
The next day the good wife informed me that she no longer wanted to go on a cruise. This is where Christmas turned absurd. As a child, when all was good, I would never have imagined the emotions that were associated with this particular Christmas.
We went on the cruise in July 2018 and had a great time, but there is much more to this story. Keep it Merry, Christmas that is!
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