Packaged snack items seem to bring out a multitude of quirks. For example, M&M’s can only be eaten in color matching pairs, one pair at a time and any odd colors that remain at the end of the package are simply given to someone else.
So it falls to reason that when the good wife brings in some snack food, she must be prepared to endure the associated obsessive, compulsive behavior.
After forty plus years, she has pretty much seen it all. However, as of late, she is satisfied if I go to another room and even sit quietly in a corner and participate in these quirks alone.
Why then would she expect anything less with, say for instance, animal crackers. Those little cookies in the shape of a variety of animals, often enjoyed by children everywhere. She doesn’t buy them in the cute little boxes that look like little railway cars that are part of a circus, no, we get them in bulk.
Why then would she expect anything less with, say for instance, animal crackers. Those little cookies in the shape of a variety of animals, often enjoyed by children everywhere. She doesn’t buy them in the cute little boxes that look like little railway cars that are part of a circus, no, we get them in bulk.
The detail is not as distinct as on the animals that come in the little railway cars, but the shapes are still identifiable. This is probably what happens when a bakery purchases the worn cookie cutters from the guys that make the ones in the box. Time has a way of dulling things down and detail can be lost.
Our source provides chocolate animal crackers can be purchased in bags that neighbor on the quantity of gluttony. Who needs eight servings of animal crackers at their ready access? But, once the bag is opened, no one looks at the nutritional content label on the back to see how many cookies would constitute a single serving. No, you just stick your hand in and grab a bunch.
We like to snack on these while we are playing cards. Everyday there is at least one game of cards, well, let’s say there is only one between me and the goodwife. I have written before about her fantasy of being the “Rummy Queen”, but this is tested every day.
Here we are, playing cards, eating animal crackers, and me in my obsessions is distracted from the game, which was probably the good wife’s intent to begin with, as I go through the ritual exclusive to animal crackers.
Here we are, playing cards, eating animal crackers, and me in my obsessions is distracted from the game, which was probably the good wife’s intent to begin with, as I go through the ritual exclusive to animal crackers.
Once the handful is withdrawn from the bulk supply, they must be sorted. The wounded animals, those missing legs, their elephant trunk, maybe their head, and the random breakage of other body parts, should be set aside.
Mixed in that dogpile of animals is those parts that were broken off, and these should be respectfully set aside as they have their place in the upcoming order of consumption. The whole and intact animal crackers are then sorted out into those facing left and those facing right. I know that this is intense, but hang with me here, the goodwife has done this for forty plus years, surely you can make it through this column!
The conditions that make this excellent would be a glass of milk or cup of coffee to accompany the consumption of these chocolate delights. Consumption must begin with the wounded. The pile of broken parts, legs, trunks, and other broken parts should be first on the list. That can be followed by the larger potions of the broken animals. One should be respectful and perhaps shed a little tear as the wounded are the first to go. If you are having problems with the producing the tear, just use an old trick that I employed in the past, pluck a nose hair. That always draws a tear and the girls just thought that I was a sensitive guy.
Once the wounded have been disposed of, I can start on the ones that were determined too whole and intact. I don’t know why, but there always seems to be more animals facing the right than those facing left. This is a curiosity that I have been pondering for some time. I’ll just keep working on that one.
A cup of coffee sounds good, but here’s to the wounded as they are the first to go. A cup of coffee sounds good, but I still don’t know why more are facing left, that one has me stumped!
The conditions that make this excellent would be a glass of milk or cup of coffee to accompany the consumption of these chocolate delights. Consumption must begin with the wounded. The pile of broken parts, legs, trunks, and other broken parts should be first on the list. That can be followed by the larger potions of the broken animals. One should be respectful and perhaps shed a little tear as the wounded are the first to go. If you are having problems with the producing the tear, just use an old trick that I employed in the past, pluck a nose hair. That always draws a tear and the girls just thought that I was a sensitive guy.
Once the wounded have been disposed of, I can start on the ones that were determined too whole and intact. I don’t know why, but there always seems to be more animals facing the right than those facing left. This is a curiosity that I have been pondering for some time. I’ll just keep working on that one.
A cup of coffee sounds good, but here’s to the wounded as they are the first to go. A cup of coffee sounds good, but I still don’t know why more are facing left, that one has me stumped!
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