Nancy Hughes: The itemized list

“Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you.”

Proverbs 20:22 (NIV)

The bitterness in the woman’s voice in the next room caught my attention as I walked into the main office of an auto shop. It was an innocent request - “I want the itemized statement sent to him today.” - except for the fury in each word she emphasized. I envisioned shots from a rifle with each syllable being aimed at its victim with 100% accuracy.

I had an appointment to have my car inspected at a restore and refinish auto shop after a minor bumper mishap. From the tone of her voice, I assumed the vehicle belonging to the angry woman must have sustained an exorbitant amount of damage. It sounded as though she was having every single part replaced as she listed item after item that needed to be ordered.

“And one last thing,” she concluded. “I want a new paint job. He’s gonna be sorry by the time this is done.” I almost pitied the guy who hit her car. “Must have been some collision,” I thought as the man talking with her laughed. “What about new leather seats?” he asked. “Sure, why not,” she replied. “He’s got the money. He’s getting the bill.”

As they concluded their business, the woman walked into the main office where I was sitting and, with a glance over her shoulder, made one final comment to the man as she left: “He thinks I am just going to have a few things updated on my car. Just wait until he gets the bill! This is going to be great! I’ll teach him to divorce me!” and with a laugh she was gone.

Getting even. Oh, haven’t we all been there? “He said” or “She did” and we immediately believe we have a right to hold a grudge and to inflict judgment ourselves. Now, I know you may be thinking “But you have no idea what has happened to me and what he/she did and how sad and hurt I am.” and that is very true, just as I have no idea what happened in this woman’s divorce.

But I can tell you that, after she had inflicted her damage to her former husband’s billfold in revenge, there was no joy in her laugh. I also know that resentment and bitterness do more harm to you than to the person you are resentful and bitter toward. Your physical health is affected immediately and, more importantly, your spiritual health is compromised.

Forgiving does not mean that you accept as right the wrong done to you. It simply means that you trust God to turn that wrong into a right for His glory. The woman’s itemized statement was in reality a list that included revenge, bitterness, resentment, anger, and unforgiveness.

If you have an itemized statement like hers, I urge you to truly count the cost and write “forgiven” under the amount due.

Father, I have had a “get even” attitude so many times in my life. Please help me to look at all situations through your eyes and to learn to forgive. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

R.A.P. it up . . .

Reflect

Can you think of an instance in your life when someone committed a wrong against you?

What was your first reaction? To get even or to forgive?

Apply

Make a list of the wrongs that have been done to you.

Beside each one write “forgiven” and the Scripture that applies. Then forgive.

Power

Proverbs 20:22 (NIV) “Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you.”

Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV) “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Leviticus 19:18 (NIV) “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.”

(For more of Nancy Hughes' writing, check out her blog, Encouragement from the War Room.)