Proverbs 21:19 (NIV)
That was it! I was done! Once again, even after repeated reminders, my husband had walked into the bathroom and dropped his socks b-e-s-i-d-e the clothes hamper. Not IN the hamper, but beside it!
I could feel my jaw tighten as I scrolled through my mental list of zingers to throw his way. “Are you blind?” “How hard is it to open the hamper and drop in the socks? Too much effort?” “Do I look like your mother? Your maid? Your servant?”
And then I did what I believed all wives were required to do: I stored that incident in my mind along with all the other times that socks were dropped on the floor, and anniversaries and birthdays were forgotten and an empty toilet paper roll was left in the bathroom and . . . you get the picture.
You probably know what came next, too. A little thing – my husband was 5 minutes late picking me up from work – and I hit him square in the heart with every single thing that I believed he had done wrong since the Garden of Eden. Unfortunately what I just described didn’t happen just once in our marriage but that scene was repeated over and over with few minor changes.
Then one day the Lord had had enough of my behavior and He placed in my life an older Godly woman who shared her marriage with me. She talked about being a newlywed and her determination to change her husband into her idea of perfection. That continued on for years until the day she received an unexpected life-changing gift from her son.
He walked into the kitchen and said “Mom, I’ve been teaching myself how to use my tape recorder so I taped you and dad talking yesterday. Do you want to hear it?” She smiled as he hit “play” but in an instant the tears flowed as she listened to the tone of her voice during her conversation with her husband.
She said that not only was her voice negative and her words accusing and absolutely horrible but she could not escape the hurt in her husband’s voice as he barely answered “yes” or “no” to her questions.
In that instant she realized that instead of praising God for her husband and all the good qualities he brought to their marriage, she was literally ripping him and the marriage into pieces. “I went to my husband immediately and asked his forgiveness for my attitude,” she said, “and then I resolved to do everything I could to be the Godly wife that the Lord had called me to be.”
I have to tell you, ladies, that I was completely convicted that day of my attitude of arguing and complaining toward my husband and our marriage and called him at work to ask his forgiveness. And I would love to tell you that the toilet paper roll was always full after that and anniversaries were never forgotten again. Not true.
But somehow socks next to the hamper were no longer as important as my acceptance and love of my husband, God’s gift to me. May it be the same with each of you.
Father, I thank you for this man that you have given me as my husband. May I always remember that he is your gift to me and treat him with the love and respect that he deserves. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
R.A.P. it up . . .
Reflect
If someone were to tape record your conversations with your husband, would you be ashamed or embarrassed by what you say and how you say it?
Would the majority of your conversations be affirming and positive or demeaning and negative?
Apply
Praise God every day for your husband and all the unique, wonderful qualities he brings to your marriage.
Think of ways to praise and affirm your husband as an important part of your life and then tell him.
Power
Proverbs 21:19 (NIV) “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.”
Proverbs 21:9 (NIV) “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”
Proverbs 31:10 (NIV) “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.”
(For more of Nancy Hughes' writing, check out her blog, Encouragement from the War Room)
No comments:
Post a Comment