My grandkids love to play the game “Never Have I” when they go swimming. It’s simple really. Everyone holds on to the side of the pool while one person stands on the diving board, back to the water. Then he says “Never have I” and states something that he has never done.
For example, “Never have I kicked a dog.” Then the swimmers in the water who HAVE done that very thing try to swim from one side of the pool to the other as the person on the diving board jumps in and tries to tag them. If he is successful, the person he tags is next on the diving board. If he doesn’t tag anyone, he has to say another “never have I.”
On one hot summer afternoon, eight year old Jude was the person on the diving board. The other grandkids were holding on to the side of the pool, hoping that he would say something they had not done so they wouldn’t have to race to the other side.
Jude, in a sweet little voice, called out “Never have I made someone’s heart feel down.” I smiled as every person in the water swam frantically for the other side. And, yes, Jude tagged one to take his place on the board.
Jude has always been very careful to never hurt someone’s feelings. It has happened to him before and he doesn’t like the feeling but he also doesn’t want anyone else to have their “heart feel down.”
But as they continued their game, it occurred to me that if I were playing the specific “Never Have I” that Jude called out, I would be one of those swimming for the other side of the pool. One of those who has made someone’s “heart feel down.”
I wish that I could tell you that I, too, am very careful to never cause heartache with my words. But I can’t. More times than I would like to admit, I have spoken without thinking or NOT spoken when I should have. Instead of encouraging and building someone up, I’ve done the exact opposite either by my words or my silence.
Romans 13:10 burns my heart. “Love does no harm to its neighbor.” And who is my neighbor? Everyone. Paul is confirming what Jesus said to all of us.
If we love someone, we are going to do everything we can to keep their heart from feeling down. It starts with what comes out of our mouths. And the words we speak from our lips come straight from our hearts. If I am hiding anger or pride, jealousy or hate in my heart, then my words will reflect that. And instead of trying hard not to make someone’s heart feel down, I will be pushing it down myself!
Can you relate? I imagine that we all can. Either by what we have spoken or when we should have spoken up but didn’t. I encourage you to not only stop and think before you speak, but to do that twice before uttering a single word. If we truly love, as Jesus tells us to, we will do everything we can to keep from making anyone’s “heart feel down.”
Lord, my heart longs to be in tune with yours. I know I don’t always love people like you do. Please help me to love them and to build up rather than tear down. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
R.A.P it up . . .
Reflect
Look over conversations you have had this last week.
How many times have your words been critical instead of loving?
Apply
Begin each morning by praying “Lord, help me to love like you do. Silence me when I am thinking of speaking unloving comments.”
Practice that every day.
Power
Romans 13:10 (NIV) “Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.”
Matthew 12:36 (NIV) “But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.”
Proverbs 12:18 (NIV) “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
(For more of Nancy Hughes' writing, check out her blog, Encouragement from the War Room.)
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