It’s funny how we can forget what we had for breakfast by 11 am but vividly remember a hurtful situation from 20 years ago. So it is for me the day I was formally introduced to the concept of a grown up mean person – or GR.U.M.P.
The company where I worked had formed a softball team. The coach was the husband of one of my co-workers. My main position was pitcher but I also played first base occasionally.
The season had started off well and I was thoroughly enjoying the pastime with my teammates – until Susan, the wife of the coach, became upset with another team member.
One day Susan came by my desk as I was talking with a co-worker and commented “I am so mad at Connie. She is always talking about how she is better than the rest of us, just because she has played softball on other teams. I think she needs to be benched for a while to teach her to keep her comments to herself. What do you guys think?”
“I like Connie but I guess you’re right.” my co-worker answered. I shrugged “I think we have a great team but I wouldn’t bench her for giving her opinion.” Susan went back to her desk and I totally forgot the conversation – until our next softball game.
The team ran out on the field and I grabbed my glove and started toward the pitcher’s mound when the coach stopped me. “Hey, Nancy, wait a minute. We have a new pitcher. You’ll go in later.” I was totally caught off guard. A new pitcher? I wondered why until I glanced at Susan aka GR.U.M.P. Her smile and laugh gave me the answer: I had not agreed with what she had wanted to do. And therefore, I would pay for it. I finally got in the game: for the last play of the last inning – in center field.
That was only the beginning. For the rest of the season, I sat on the bench for every game. I didn’t play another inning. It was the same each game: I cheered for the team. I encouraged when we got behind. All the while sitting on the bench. And then I went home and cried until, with half of our games left, my husband gave me some great advice.
“You have choices. You can quit. Quit the team. That’s what she wants you to do anyway. You can ask the coach why you are sitting the bench every game but you already know the reason. Or you can refuse to let Susan’s mean spill over into your life and spoil your glass-half-full attitude.”
Then he gave me a hug and grinned: “She doesn’t know it but the ball is in your court – well, field actually. It’s totally up to you how this turns out. It’s your call: keep striking out or hit a home run.”
He was right. I had gone home after every game and cried at how unfair it was for me to be sitting on the bench because the coach’s wife didn’t like my comment. My conversations at home with my husband were 100% focused on my hurt feelings and my anger and . . . me. And the glass half full that I had always had? It had become emptied and cracked. I had become miserable at work and I had taken that misery home with me.
I would love to tell you that I immediately changed my attitude and forgave Susan but I didn’t. It took prayer and Ephesians 4:32 to remind me that, as a Christian, my attitude should always be kind and forgiving. Even when I am treated unfairly. Especially when I am treated unfairly.
The first day at work after my heart change from the Lord was hard. When the GR.U.M.P. walked by my desk with her usual glare, I smiled and said “Hi Susan. How are you?” She said “What business is it of yours?” and rolled her eyes and walked on. Susan only got angrier as I became kinder. That anger then became directed at the other softball players and by the end of the season, they decided to disband the team.
I learned a lot from my GR.U.M.P. experience. As a Christian, my attitude and total reaction has to come from the Word of God. I have to examine my heart and get rid of any anger or bitterness I may have. And I need to forgive just as Jesus has forgiven. Nothing less will do.
My heart changed, too. I no longer saw a GR.U.M.P. Instead I saw Susan: a woman who needed the kindness and forgiveness Jesus had given me. And I prayed that, one day, she would accept His gift.
Father, please help me have the right attitude when I have been treated unfairly. I ask for patience and a genuine love toward those who seek to attack and hurt. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
R.A.P. it up . . .
Reflect
· Think about situations in which you have been treated unfairly by a GR.U.M.P.
· What was your immediate reaction? Forgiveness and love or anger and retaliation?
Apply
· Memorize Ephesians 4:32. Keep it on a note card in your purse and on your bathroom mirror.
· Let your first response when confronted by a GR.U.M.P. be one of kindness and compassion.
Power
· Ephesians 4:32 (NIV) “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
· Colossians 3:12 (NIV) “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”
· Luke 6:27-28 (NIV) “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”
(For more of Nancy Hughes' writing, check out her blog, Encouragement from the War Room.)
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