Monday, August 31, 2020

Kim Frencken: What I learned from wearing a mask


Masks have not been mandatory where I live so I consider myself fortunate. However, there are many that choose to wear them. That's okay. I don't have a problem with those that choose to wear them or those that don't. I practice distancing and good hygiene. Keep my hands from my face.

In my public excursions I've noticed traits that some masks wearers share. The first is pretty obvious. Maybe you've noticed it too. The lack of smiles. I know you're thinking that I just can't see them behind the mask, but I would beg to differ. Smiles reach the eyes (to be real) and I haven't noticed any smiling eyes. Many turn their heads and look away. Forget the smile, they don't even make eye contact.

Some mask wearers glare at those not wearing a mask. They stare and give a nod of disapproval until the rebel is out of sight. Then they look at you to see if you'll join in their coalition. I call this the stare down. Usually I just smile back at them. If I'm not masked up, I get the glare. I guess they're trying to make me feel guilty. It doesn't work. 










Masks tend to give some people a sense of security- not safe from the virus security- safe from people. If they're wearing a mask, they feel somewhat empowered. Braver. Invincible. Or maybe they feel invisible. Either way the result is the almost the same. They go about their business like they are the only ones there and ignore everyone around them.

Regardless of whether or not you are a mask wearer, we can still be kind and courteous. We can still make eye contact and smile. Our manners don't have to be put on a shelf just because we have half of our faces hidden. We can still help the elderly (or vertically challenged) person who can't reach an item on the top shelf. We can still wish people a good morning or afternoon. We can still hold the door open for others. We can still respect the opinions and feelings of others. Even if they differ from your own.

And that goes for anywhere that you are- not just the store. Being respectful and kind should never be socially unacceptable. 

(For more of Kim Frencken's writing and information about her educational products, check out her blog, Chocolate for the Teacher.)

4 comments:

Jonathan Dresner said...

You're the reason I'm not coming back to Joplin, so you don't have to worry about my smile.

Anonymous said...

With all due respect...

IF you wanted to see incivility run rampant, you should have been at the Joplin city council meeting of August 17. All the shouts and heckling came from the anti-mask crowd.

I won't glare at them in public. But I find it hard to show civility to someone who has total disregard for my life and the lives of my loved ones. I don't say anything I just walk past them with my mask that says, "In Fauci We Trust."

Anonymous said...

I agree with 9:52. The August 17th Joplin City Council meeting was a horror show. I wear a mask when I go out because I Care about my fellow citizens and if my wearing a mask makes THEM feel a little safer, I'm happy. The mask is not about me not getting something from you who are not wearing a mask, it's about my attempt to protect YOU.

And if I don't look at you with smiling eyes it just might be because I'm afraid of you. While I've been out and about, I haven't encountered anyone wearing a mask who's been screaming or threatening anyone, but I have seen those without the mask do so. On a couple of occasions they have even thrown things at people wearing a mask.

So come on, kindness and civility to one another is a two way street. The mask doesn't hurt me or keep me from going about my business and I hope it shows my regard our fellow citizens.



Dusty Roads said...

If an anti masker yells at me for wearing one..they are getting a knuckle sandwich