Paul Richardson: The rummy queen

Growing up in a home that was situated in buckle of the “Bible Belt” meant that by tradition there were certain things absent in our home. One of the items on the banned list were the standard deck of playing cards. 

It is not that I have become enlightened, but times do change and certain dark and foreboding beliefs that were based on tradition have dissolved in the waters of truth.

At a time before I fully escaped the rules of tradition, I departed from the sanctity of the house of parental oversight and ventured off into the world of higher education at the university. 

It was there that free time was often occupied with the occasional card game. In the beginning it was a game of “Spades,” which I quickly mastered due to my past experience in the game of “Rook”. “Rook” along with “Uno” were card games that were permitted and played often by my parents and other couples that would join them on a Friday or Saturday evening. 

My induction began at an age when I could only stand and peer over the edge of the table, soaking up the nuances of each individual’s style of play. Then it happened, at some point in my early teenage years I was permitted to play. The years of observation paid off and it wasn’t long before I became proficient at the game.

The similarities between “Rook” and “Spades” were so parallel that when the time came for me to sit down at the table and join in on a game of “Spades” I was able to appear as an old hand at the game immediately. 

Seeking more complex challenges, I soon advanced to “Hearts”, “Bridge”, and several varieties of “Pitch”. It turns out that there are as many different varieties of “Pitch” as there are Baptist. 

As I am writing this, it occurs to me that my first exposure to standard playing cards actually occurred during my senior year in high school. While on a field trip that lasted for a full day, we occupied a portion of the time traveling by playing “Crazy Eights”. We managed to arrange some items in the back of the school bus into a configuration where four players could assemble for a competitive encounter.

Prior to our marriage and shortly after we began dating, the good wife and her sisters would occasionally lure me into a game of “Rummy”. The good wife had been mentored on the game by her Granny Palmer, and while she will never admit it, fancies herself as somewhat of a Rummy Queen.

We have continued to engage in regular “Rummy” encounters. Since we are both extremely competitive, this game brings out the worst emotions in each of us.

I have even attempted to purchase a win by offering payment in kisses. The Rummy Queen insists that every loss in her camp is simply, “Letting me win in order to keep me playing in the future.”

I just came off of a win. Despite that, a pestering rub is me saying, “All hail the Rummy Queen.”