Thursday, August 19, 2010

Desecrating the memory of Barbara McNeely

From time to time, I open a scrapbook and look over a short poem, written in faded blue ink on a sheet of notebook paper that has seen better days.
The words don’t rhyme and they will never rank with those of Emily Dickinson or Elizabeth Barrett Browning, but they mean the world to me:

Remember the Days
when we were young and free
to roam and play like goofy kids

Those words, which began the poem, weren’t the words of a seasoned poet, but the thoughts of a 16-year-old girl.

Only four years later, that worn piece of paper was all I had left of the girl who wrote the poem.

The darkest day in my life, and in the lives of all who knew her, was September 6, 1977, the day a young man brutally stabbed Barbara McNeely to death in the parking lot at Northpark Mall.

Though we didn’t get along at first, Barbara and I became good friends in high school and when we attended Missouri Southern State College. When I made my first fledgling efforts to write a novel while I was at East Newton High School, it was Barbara who did my typing for me and offered me a steady stream of encouragement.

And suddenly all of that was gone. My friend and support system was gone forever and she was only 20 years old.

The man who killed her, William R. McMurray, said he stabbed Barbara multiple times because he thought she was his mother. When his trial was held, the Joplin Globe contained one account after another of how the deeply religious folks at Cecil Todd’s Revival Fire ministry thought that McMurray had undergone a conversion, had been saved, and was deserving of forgiveness. Not once did any of these people, so quick to proclaim how the Lord could make a difference even in the life of someone who had done something so horrible, offer one word of sympathy or support to Barbara’s family.

Finally, a jury found William R. McMurray not guilty by means of insanity. He was committed to a state mental hospital and a few years later, after the fact, the McNeely family and the man others who loved Barbara, learned that McMurray had been freed and was walking the streets.

Our attorney general at the time, the later imprisoned Bill Webster, not only backed the Missouri Department of Health on its actions, but just like those decent folks at Revival Fires, never offered a word of apology to Barbara’s loved ones.

And since that time, William R. McMurray has been with his wife and kids, living the kind of life that he made sure Barbara McNeely would never have.
That’s bad enough, but I received a disturbing e-mail a few days ago from a reporter in Crawfordsville, Ind., McMurray’s hometown.

Apparently, 33 years after the murder, William McMurray is ready to cash in on his notoriety, offering another of the endless stream of books authored by those who have done terrible things, gone through a redemption process, and have emerged to lead successful lives.

In this book, the reporter told me, McMurray plans to write about the horrible abuse he suffered as a child, what it lead him to do, and how he “turned his life around.”

For this man, who deprived the world forever of the sunshine that was Barbara McNeely, to make money off the tragedy, is a desecration to her memory.

So many times I have been amazed at those who manage to gloss over the most horrific acts with homilies about the healing power of forgiveness.
Well forgive me, but I am not buying it. Don’t tell me about the redemptive powers and inspiration that McMurray’s books may offer to those who have been abused as children.

I will continue to find my inspiration in that short poem and in the memory of the wonderful young woman who wrote it.

8 comments:

Busplunge said...

Don’t tell me about the redemptive powers and inspiration that McMurray’s books may offer to those who have been abused as children.

well said.

Anonymous said...

Until you been chained naked to a jack post in your basement and left there for 3 days, don't tell me what the mental consequences of what your actions may be when subjected to that type of torture daily for 16 years

Anonymous said...

There is no amount of abuse, nor insanity, that could ever justify the taking of an innocent life. I have struggled for years with the knowledge of my actions and know there is nothing I could ever say or do to turn back the clocks. Over the years I have reached out to others seeking to in someway express just how very sorry I am to the McNealy family and the Joplin Community, only to be strongly discouraged. So, I could only hope, by giving to others I may in a small way find some level of atonement for all I took. I know there will be those who, despite what I've done since, will forever define my life because of their loss. I know there will always be those who do not care to know of the childhood issues that brought a break with reality, nor choose to know the person I was privileged to become. Who I am today came only because others counseled and aided me in overcoming those past issues. I can only hope some of you may one day be able to forgive me.

Yes, I was released from the hospital in 1985. But few of you know very little of what I've done since. As an EMT and founder of an emergency medical program that grew to fifty-five medically trained and equipped members in one year, my program helped decrease automobile accident deaths by more than 50% in one Missouri county. Something recognized by the MO Hwy. Patrol in 1987. Despite the recognitions and awards received that year, including a Presidential Commendation from Ronald Reagan, a short two years later I finally realized that nomatter how many lives were saved, it would never bring back the one that was taken. So I resigned and continued writing my books that taught projects and programs in need how to organize successful fund-raising events. Books that also raised funds for others with the profits made.

As a fundraiser, the fifty-seven I've assisted and organized have raised nearly a million dollars for children's causes, animal shelters, as well as school and community projects, including the MO Chapter, National Committee to Prevent Child Abuse. In all but two of these 57 separate events I've donated my time. I went back to school to become a better provider for the family I feel blessed to have and eventually took over a business until I became severely ill in August
2005.

Now retired, I know there are still more things I can do for others. Even as my physical abilities are quickly deminishing.

I've tried to do some good with the life you granted to spare. To those who may choose to read this, I am so very, very sorry for what I did.

Dr. Chas Brothers said...

I for one am happy that Mr. McMurray is undertaking this project and donating the money for its sale to help those abused as children. It will address the issues men have faced as a result of the brutality inflicted upon them at the hands of their perpetrators. I was one of those kids and was subjected to all six forms of child abuse for 16 years and am proud to be collaborating with Bill McMurray on this project expecially as it will help those in need find peace. I pray one day Mr. Turner that you find the forgiveness you so desperatly seek and come to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Only then will you understand.

In Christ,
Dr. Chas Brothers

Anonymous said...

I guess what mistifies me if you will, is the fact that not only did Mr. McMurray claim it was his mother's demonic activities that drove him to this dispicable crime but, the fact that he uses her as a reference to tout his acalades on the Southmont High School Alumni page!

Isn't it amazing how both of them copped religion, just after the not guilty plea?

While I don't doubt his sincerity, I can tell you as a person in the know that he is a devestator of lives and doesn't look back twice at the heaps of ashes he has left behind!

I hope I'm there when you have to answer for your sin young man...

Anonymous said...

To the "Person in the know"!! I am one who believes McMurray's gift of giving was ONCE motivated very much due to his guilt to something he remembers only fragments of. I do know he left the ambulance after he finally realized his work there could never make up for the past. His charity work since speaks strongly of the person he became. As for his Christian belief's....he was an active Church member long before his breakdown and has been ever since. As for his high school alumni page...I did not see any remarks on his mother and his mother has never been a Church goer. As a child and up until he and his sisters were removed from their mothers care, McMurray was the only one in his home who attended church.

As for Mr. Turner....It is one thing to commemorate the life of someone who was so very special to so many. That's a good thing. Families on both side were horribly affected by the insanity of one individual and my heart sincerely goes out to the McNeely family for their incredible loss. Lives were devastated.

Mr. Turner, has over stepped some boundaries here with an attempt to insight even further anger through what was suppose to be a very special memorial on Ms. McNelly's life. He allowed his own hate for McMurray's actions in 1977 to take him down a very nasty path that has only caused further harm than good. He intentionally mislead his readers to believe McMurray was prepared to "Line his pockets" with a book about his life. Absolutely not true!! McMurray asked a friend from his hometown paper to help him locate those he grew up with in the Indiana Children's Christian Home. Those who McMurray had already reconnected with were encouraging him to write a book with individual stories from those formerly from the home and the abuse they experienced prior to and after they came to the Children's Home. The facility was closed down several years ago after sexual and physical abuse of the children were verified. The closing was strongly covered by both television news and newspapers. Some house parents even went to jail. One went to jail because he fathered a child with an underage girl in his care.

As for the book Mr. Turner mislead his readers on...The book would have told individual stories...But also provided hope by detailing how each person overcame their trauma. Many of those very same children took negative paths in one way or another after leaving the Children's Home. In time, most found a greater purpose and turned their life around. The book would have been filled with resources to further aide those who may be currently dealing with abuse. McMurray would not have used his real name as the author and 100% of proceeds from the published book would be donated to a program in his hometown that aides abused children. Something McMurray was already working on before Randy Turner's blog. Rather than checking his facts, Mr. Turner chose to demonize McMurray's intentions and present McMurray as a sociopathic opportunist looking to cash in. It is very apparent Mr. Turner's poison pen tactics was an intentional effort to create controversy and further ill sentiment against McMurray who for the past twenty-five plus years has utilized his time to give something back to society by volunteering so much to others. Now I see where Mr. Turner has removed seventeen comments from this page. The majority of those comments were from readers who were not happy with Mr. Turner's piece. Why am I not surprised?

Randy said...

I don't know where you get the 17 comments deleted, but that is simply not true. I have always left comments that disagree with me online. The only comments that are removed are ones which contain profanity, are exact duplicates of other comments, or are spam.

My guess would be that if these 17 comments you write about ever existed, they are still intact, but go along with another of the pieces I wrote about the death of Barbara McNeely.

Anonymous said...

On the page where you used McMurray's photo is 21 comments. However, it is so unfortunate Mr. Turner what your intent has been with your messages. And...there is actual case law AGAINST what you've done. A case very much like McMurray's. A young man who did something horrible in his early years and after several years in a state institution the young man was released and did a great deal of good with his life in the community. A local reporter thought he had stumbled upon something about this man twenty-five years later and felt the community needed to be made aware. The reporter intentionally re-opened all those old wounds. The young man lost his job and the stresses created by the story for the young man and his family resulted in him committing suicide. The family sued the reporter and newspaper...and won!

There are laws favoring media and what they write about PUBLIC figures. Tabloid journalist can write just about anything and generally get away with it. McMurray is not a public figure though. By NOT checking your facts and choosing to write blindly all that ill will, intentionally re-opening old wounds and then trying to say it was a memorial piece on your friend. Let's be honest here Mr. Turner...who's really the opportunist. Your friend deserves far better. Your loss and especially that of the McNeely family is so very tragic. Such a loss should never happen.

It is unfortunate to know someone filled with so much hate and bitterness is a teacher and role model for tomorrows generation. I hope your next memorial effort focuses on all that was good in the young ladies life, as well as all the good she brought into other peoples lives.