Nancy Hughes: An example for my children

 

“Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.” Titus 2:6-8 (NIV)

The basketball game last week was one of the most intense I’ve ever watched. It would determine a conference title for one of the teams playing. 

Coaches and teams were ready. Fans in the gym were ready. The referees were ready. Enter to my left and down one row a young woman that was more than ready; she was 100% focused on every single play of the game.

Two other ladies – one of them her mother – were with her and they, too, were very intent on the game. She had also brought her adorable four year old son who was 100% focused but it was on a candy “pacifier” sucker in his mouth.

As the game began, it became apparent that it would be a close one. The team I was rooting for would score; the opposing team would score. The game went back and forth through the first half. Fans for both teams were cheering and encouraging: “You can do it! Defense! Great job!” could be heard from around the gym along with an occasional groan if a shot was missed or a foul called that a fan felt was wrong. That is, except for the young woman in front of me.

She mocked loudly everything she believed the opposing team was doing wrong. She verbally attacked the opposing coach: “What a whiner! She needs to sit down and shut up!” a parent: “I could just go up there and punch him in the face!” and the referees: “That was not a foul. Wake up! Get your act together!”

I found myself so focused on what she was saying and doing that at times I totally missed what was going on in the game. And then I noticed something else: not only was I watching her and listening to what she was saying but so was her four year old son and he was copying his mother’s every gesture and comment.

When she yelled “Bad call! BAD CALL! That was not a foul!” her son took out his sucker long enough to yell “You bad! You bad!” He yelled as she yelled and mimicked her every word and move. He even shook his head back and forth, hands on his forehead, just as she was doing.

As I sat back wondering why in the world she was displaying such behavior, her mother turned to her and said “You know I just love sitting here and watching the other team implode.” And they both laughed. The young woman had learned the mocking behavior from her mother. From grandma to mother to son. From one generation to the next.

While I seriously doubt from our Scripture in Titus 2:6-8 that he was referencing our behavior at a basketball game, his wisdom about what kind of example we are to those around us and especially our children, is full of truth.

We cannot teach our children to be self-controlled if we do not exercise it ourselves. They look at us, they listen to us, they follow our example in everything we do and say. Just the opposite could have occurred at the ball game. That young woman could have shown her son how to clap for their team and encourage the players by doing those very things herself.

Titus says to set an example and to be self-controlled “so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say.” (v. 8) The parents of players on the other team were sitting around this young woman and could hear every comment she made. I’m quite certain it was not a positive impression.

Let’s do everything we can to be self-controlled in every area of our lives. What we teach will be passed down for generations. I pray we are teaching integrity and truth with kindness and compassion. Our children are watching and listening and learning from us – even at basketball games.

Father, I need your direction for my life as I train and encourage my children. I want to be a positive example for them and not one that leads them away from you. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

R.A.P. it up . . .

Reflect

· How would you rate your behavior as a Christian at sporting events or other competitions?

· Would people around you be able to identify you as a Christian or not?

Apply

· Memorize todays Scripture from Titus 2:6-8.

· Before you go anywhere with your children, remind yourself that you are an example to them, either positive or negative, as a Christian.

Power

· Titus 2:6-8 (NIV) “Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.”

· Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it.”

· John 13:15 (NIV) “I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.”

(For more of Nancy Hughes' writing, check out her blog, Encouragement from the War Room.)