No more guilt trips for me- I am a writer, this is how I make my living and I am proud of it

The guilt trip people wanted me to take began in August 2011 and I had never run into anything like it.

Following the publication of 5:41: Stories from the Joolin Tornado, there was an incessant drum beat, most of it from anonymous commenters, berating me for profiting off other people's misery.

How could I write a book (in this case with Carthage Press Managing Editor John Hacker) and not be giving the proceeds to people who had lost their homes and belongings in the tornado?

When other people were volunteering, the commenters said, I was a vulture swooping in to make money off misery.

It totally took me by surprise. I thought people would appreciate having a book like 5:41 that shared survivor stories, original photos, reporting and essays, as well as obituaries of those who lost their lives. Instead, I had all of these people criticizing me and comparing me to those who were later charged and convicted of disaster fraud.








Sad to say, I let the criticism get to me and began feeling guilty for dosing something that I have spent most of my life doing- writing, reporting and editing. While there were plenty of people who were thanking John and me for 5:41, it was not those voices I was hearing.

I was a teacher, someone who held a position of responsibility and without realizing I was doing it, I was making a fast buck off Joplin's darkest day.

The failure of Spirit of Hope

I had not even dreamed of doing a second book about the tornado. I did not want to go anywhere near it, but John Hacker said people continued telling him the real story was the remarkable comeback Joplin had made in the months following the disaster.

We decided to do the book, which would also include tornado stories from people who did not get their stories in to us in time for 5:41, and would carry coverage of all of the major events from the tornado through the one-year observance.

But still, the guilt was there and I made a rash decision that ended up costing me dearly. I decided to use my share of proceeds from the follow-up book, Spirit of Hope, to pay for another project, yet a third tornado book, one that eventually would be titled Scars from the Tornado, that would tell the tornado stories of East Middle School students and the story of their first year having school in a warehouse after the tornado destroyed the original East Middle School.








The plan was to use proceeds from Spirit of Hope to make sure every student, teacher and staff member at East, would receive a copy of Scars from the Tornado. The project would serve as a way to help the students deal with the aftermath of the tornado, provide a service to the community, help me deal with my critics and help me get out from under this guilt the commenters had been heaping on me since the publication of 5:41.

It was a foolproof plan and I put it into effect with the publication of Spirit of Hope. There was only one problem.

Spirit of Hope was a miserable failure.

To this day, I insist the book is better than 5:41. John and I were able to plan it,  we covered the major events of that year following the tornado. Many of the survivor stories were just as poignant as those in the first book, but the book fizzled.

So, as I am wont to do in such situations, I did something stupid. I decided the problem was that not enough people knew about the book so I bought a Google ad.

And when that ad did absolutely nothing to boost the sales of Spirit of Hope, I canceled it, or at least I thought I did. It was a couple of months later that I realized I had done something wrong and the ad had never been canceled.

And I owed Google more than $4,000.

Try as I might, I was unable to convince Google or my credit card company that I did not owe the money and to me, on a teacher's salary, that was a ton of money.

It also occurred to me that there was no way I could live up to my promise to give copies of Scars from the Tornado to the students and staff at East.

Eventually, I figured out a way to keep the promise, though it was not ideal. I provided free e-books of Scars to everyone who wanted them, which turned out be more than 1,100 people. While I am sure that not every student or teacher went through with the free download, I felt much better.

When Scars from the Tornado was published, I looked for a way to use the proceeds from the book to benefit others. This was a different kind of book and even without the guilt feelings, there was no way I was going to try to make even a penny off this book because much of it had been written by students.

I talked with various teachers and others about worthwhile projects that could benefit from the proceeds. At the time, I was naive enough to believe that the Joplin R-8 Administration would appreciate a book that would cast students, staff and the district in a positive light and would help with the promotion.

One of my colleagues at East, Sherry Medlock, had a wonderful idea of setting up a foundation that could use money from Scars to help other school districts that were struck by disaster. Teachers and students alike would sit on the foundation board of directors and decide how the money would be spent.

At a parent-teacher conference in March 2013, I talked with one of the parents about the foundation idea and he told me his wife worked at a bank and that was the kind of thing she did.

I had every intention of following through with that, but I was removed from the classroom a few days later, with one of the accusations against me being that I was using student work for my own benefit.

It was clear at that point there would be no foundation, no support from the R-8 Administration for Scars from the Tornado and as I found out a couple of months later, no place for me in the Joplin R-8 School District.

While I continued applying for teacher positions, I decided to take a shot at making my living as a writer/blogger. I created the Inside Joplin blogs to go with the Turner Report, which had been around since 2003, and I continued to write more books.








One of the few advantages of not being in the classroom any more was that I had more opportunities to meet with people, including many who talked to me about the effect 5:41 had on them. Over the past six years, I have had many people who thanked John and me for publishing that book.

I never had anyone tell me face to face that I was profiting off misery.

I thought back to the reason I decided to work on 5:41 in the first place and why I called John Hacker and suggested the project- this is what I do.

I am a writer. In my blogs and my books I provide information. I had been a full-time reporter for 22 years and had continued in my spare time with the Turner Report. The Joplin Tornado was the biggest story Joplin has ever had and I wanted to be one of the ones who told the story.

And if I made money off it- so what? I worked hard on the book and people wanted to buy it.

For someone who writes a blog that accepts anonymous comments, it took me a long time to absorb a lesson I should have learned from the outset- many anonymous comments come from trolls who delight in tearing people down.

For years, I let these people get the best of me. Not any more.

The complaints about Lost Angels

That brings me to my latest book, Lost Angels: The Murders of Rowan Ford and Doug Ringler. The trolls are out again.

"How much of the proceeds are you giving to Rowan Ford's family?" one anonymous commenter asked.

Others have made the comment again about how I am profiting off someone else's tragedy.

That is not what I am doing, unless of course, you think that I was profiting off other people's warm memories of growing up in Newton County when I wrote Newton County Memories.

In both books, I wrote about subjects that interested me. When I wrote Newton County Memories, I wrote about people, places and events that have had an impact on my life.

I followed the same prescription for Lost Angels. I wrote thousands of stories during my time at the Carthage Press, but none stand out to me as much as the Ringler murder. I paired the killing with that of Rowan Ford for the book because of the similarities in the case, but also because the murder stirred up memories for me, not only of covering and directing coverage of Doug Ringler's murder, but also of attending school at the same school Rowan Ford attended, working in the community where she lived, and writing about the case for years both in the Turner Report and in columns I wrote for the Newton County News.

I write about subjects that interest me. Sometimes my writing is about the happier things in life like in Newton County Memories; sometimes it is about things that sadden and anger me, as in the murders of Doug Ringler and Rowan Ford.

People have the absolute right to express their opinions. If you think I am profiting off tragedy, I am not going to be able to change your mind. (And if you think I am rolling in wealth from either my blogs or my books, you really do not have a clue.)

Don't buy the book!

It took me far too long to reach this stage, but the guilt trips are over.

I am a writer. It is my job.

Don't subscribe or give contributions to the Turner Report/Inside Joplin unless you believe I am providing a service that has value to you.

Don't buy my books unless you really want to read them.

This is how I make my living and I am not going to apologize to anyone.

If you don't like what you just read, you probably should ignore the subscription/contribution ad and Amazon book ads below.

***
A lot of work goes into the Turner Report/Inside Joplin every day. If it has value to you, consider taking a subscription or making a contribution. Those who prefer not to use PayPal or a credit card can send their contributions to Randy Turner, 2306 E. 8th Street, Apartment A, Joplin, MO 64801.

Payment options

Option 1 : $30.00 USD - yearly Option 2 : $3.00 USD - monthly Option 3 : $1.00 USD - weekly