Kim Frencken: The power of the spoken word

Once a word leaves the lips, it can't be retracted. Sometimes, we realize as soon as the letters go zinging out of our mouth that they should never have been uttered, and other times we don't realize it until they have hit their mark.

I'm an expert in this field. I should invent a lock system for the mouth. I'm sure I could earn a fortune. I certainly have all the expertise needed to refine my product. Words either come out wrong, with too much intensity, passion, or tone. Or the ones that need saying don't make it past my throat. I pray about this and I try, really I do, but.... well, let's just say that you will always know exactly what I'm thinking by the look on my face or the words that leave my lips. I don't leave much room for guessing. While being honest is a good thing, being brutally honest is not.

This is the same with children. I'm a firm believer that they need to hear the truth and be corrected when they are misbehaving. They need to be taught the difference between right and wrong. They need to be taught boundaries and expectations. But they need to be taught using the language of love.

There is a kind way to teach a child and there is a cruel, damaging way. Nothing makes me angrier than to hear an adult calling a child hideous names. Remember the old adage: If you hear it enough, you believe it. I've heard a five year old child tell me what his parents call him. Something that can't be repeated here. Something that broke my heart. Something the child was beginning to believe. Something the child thought was a normal thing for parents to call their children.

What will these children grow up to become if they are called profanities when they are young? What will they do if they are told that they are failures or stupid? Sadly, many will give up and live the lie because they believe that they will never learn or never be successful.

This year, I'm going to make an extra effort to control the things that come out of my mouth. I'm going to pray for a little more for guidance and control. And, I'm going to speak words of encouragement and kindness to those around me, especially the little ones.

(For more of Kim Frencken's writing and information about her educational products, check oiut her blog, Chocolate For the Teacher.)