Saturday, December 22, 2018

Today's Top 10 Political Comments From Joplin Area Friends and Neighbors

Every once in a while, I check out the comments that are left on the political posts for KZRG, the Joplin Globe, KOAM, KODE, and KSNF and leave feeling that I have developed a new understanding not only of politics, but also of Missouri voting patterns.

As a new feature of the Turner Report, I am going to share some comments that caught my attention, some for good reasons, others shall we say, not for such good reasons.

Today's Top 10 list, in no particular order, with my comments added in italics.

1. I remember when Pelosi and Schumer kept saying " we have to be bipartisan ,we have to reach across the aisles to solve the problems of the American people ". Now its F you, no compromise on anything, ever.

Correct me if I am mistaken, but didn't the Democrats agree to the full cost of the wall several months back in a deal worked out with Republicans, but the president refused to go along with it because he did not get every single thing he wanted. That was when he had both branches of Congress.

2. Its a good start....Lets shut down more and never reopen them.

I know it makes people feel better to say things like this, but the people who work in government are people just like you and me. They have families, bills to pay and they are people we see in our communities every day. No one should be sent home at Christmas.

3. Not nice don't you call me an idiot you jerk... Go back to your basement and cry.

Other than offering a compliment on the high quality of the political discussion, I can't think of anything to add to this one.

4. Are you going to write letters to Trump in prison?

I did not bother to check the answer on the Facebook page, but my answer is no.

5. This is beginning to be a daily thing...soon there will only be Trump and Ivanka running our country, and then DOOMSDAY

And that's different from now in what respect?

6. Stand Strong President Trump. We The People Are Standing Behind You

Some of us as far behind you as possible.

7. This could have been avoided if Mexico would have paid for the wall like TRUMP PROMISED

I noticed that this one was answered by a person who admonished the commenter for not realizing that Trump had gone to Option B. I will agree, but wonder if we are much closer to the end of the alphabet.

8. Democrats say that there is no problem at the border- because they have a desire to flood the country with illegals and then give them blanket amnesty and the right to vote...for Democrats.

To paraphrase Bill O'Reilly's opening phrase on his former Fox Show- You are now entering a fact-free zone.

9. Shut the high payed stupid people down re elect all new people and make this country back GREAT AGAIN. bring back the hanging post. Quit letting theses people go with slap on hand or staying for free make them work for there prison cells and food etc.

Forget the hanging post. Bring back complete sentences.

10. Don't just comment go to the GoFundMe page and donate (money for the wall).

And in the spirit of the season, donate in Mexico's name.


Tong N. Cheek said...

If you’re wish to critize the Facebook warriors, you should include the Turner Report stars, the circular reasoning of equally fact-free, garbled, irrational comments from Harvey Hutchinson compare with any comment you cited.

Randy said...

I print Harvey's comments already, Tong. They stand on their own merit.

Anonymous said...

And most of all Turner, please let us print yours. They stack up just as favorably with the other crazies.

Anonymous said...

The Democratic Party has turned to the dark side. Too bad there are so many who can't see it.
President Trump is fighting against the powers of darkness.
God bless him and his family.

English S. Dead said...

@ 7:10

You are Exhibit A of the post’s point.

“And most of all Turner, please let us print yours.”
You are asking to be Randy’s apprentice? Maybe hoping he wouldn’t edit “print yours”?

“They stack up just as favorably with the other crazies,”
What stacks up, did you mean “as” instead of “with?

Trump S. Satan said...

@ 8:41

Trump is fighting himself, but he is a dark power that aligns himself with dictators. Please don’t worship false idols. God bless us all that are subject to his troubled soul.

Anonymous said...

This feature gonna be a wingnut xtian derp magnet.

I'm ok with that.

Just like visiting the all you can eat buffet to people watch but on your screen and without the grease in the air!

Anonymous said...

Do you even have any idea what you are typing? nice attempt at impersonating the grammar police. Your post is nonsensical and without thought. If you'd like, I can provide a thesis complete with sources and scholarly language. But then again, that might be above your comprehension level.

Kettle Colin Potblack II said...

@ 6:54

You start a sentence with ....?!
You omit commas after lol,
You omit comma after thesis,

Scholarly language, I think not, lol.

Anonymous said...


No sentence was started with ....?!

No comma is required after lol.

You incorrectly used a comma after lol.

You incorrectly use a comma after thesis.

You begin your sentence fragments with a capital letter and end each sentence with a comma.

After scholarly, language you should have used a semicolon.

There, fixed it for ya. But then again I assume you already knew this, seeing how you're edumicated and all.

Don't bring a knife to a gunfight. I can do this all day.

Call Me Slingblade said...

@ Gunfighter

In your initial comment, you began your second sentence with an ellipsis. An ellipsis is used in the middle of a sentence, or at the end, but never at the beginning of a sentence. Thereafter, a comma is definitely necessary between lol and nice attempt, unless you’re describing a nice attempt that is laughing out loud, which they definitely cannot physically perform. As far as the comma after thesis, please provide the thesis complete with scholarly language, and I will excuse the rambling sentence. Is this a doctoral thesis, or merely a theory as a premise to be maintained or proved? Your paragraphs above are as comical and incoherent.

Anonymous said...

Ya know, Slingy, if you think the post was incoherent then you need help with reading comprehension. It may have been punctuated incorrectly, but it was not incoherent. The message was conveyed. Now, let's let the group get back to the grammar war.

Anonymous said...

Thornton Bob Billy

The only thing incoherent is your rambling, lowbrow comment above. You still never acknowledged or thanked me for fixing the numerous errors in your prior post. Then again, it seems you are simply a troll and lack the ability to provide anything original in your post.

Is that the best you have? Move along troll.

Anonymous said...

@ 5:44 & 6:14

Well, it looks like this troll has totally upset the Bergens. I remain waiting for for a thesis complete with scholarly language, rotflmao. Until then, please do as Bergens do, and eat me. Ya know! Don’t try singing, you’ll never be happy.

Branch A. Troll said...

From a happy troll to the pathetically sad Bergens. Don’t be angry, be happy!

Anonymous said...

Pocket knife wielding gnome:

Just take your white flag, wave it, dry your eyes and dream happy dreams. It is the holiday season after all. We bid you adieu. I'm sure Randy is close to cutting this one-sided exchange off anyway. You're mildly amusing but I have festivities to attend!

Anonymous said...

Troll? Who the idiot who tries to correct grammar on the comment section? The world is full of stupid people doing dumb things, I suppose.

Dunn Witya said...

@ 1:27 & 3:20

Try to keep up. Even the comment that sided with the genius that has “a thesis complete with sources and scholarly language” agreed that his punctuation was incorrect. I’m still waiting for that non-existent thesis to appear and appease me with scholarly language, lol. You might want to include in your thesis the fact that an ellipsis is not used as the beginning of a sentence. Fine for the middle, or the end, if punctuated. Hopefully, you learned that, if not ask a writer like Randy or a sixth grade English teacher. A thesis complete with sources and scholarly language, rotflmao, I will remember that nonsense.

Anonymous said...


Easy with the anger, its Christmas. Even you can see that a person isn't going to post a thesis on a blog, right? Even you can see that comment was made to take a shot at you, right? Not all language is literal, right? The comment by 3:20 kinda sorta sums it up. Really, who actually randomly trolls the internet looking for comments not directed them and tries to correct grammar? Who does that? Merry Christmas!

Ima Grinch said...

@ 4:56

Trying hard to see where you interpret any of my comments as angry. Was it the YouTube post of the adorable Troll movie? Was it was my name choices, that were appropriate to the comment that I responded to, that scared you? I’m not angry all at, just playing with the gist of the post, that people post ridiculous comments. You’ve got to admit that a poster chiding another for being the “language police” and bastardizes the language in the process, is exactly what Randy was addressing in the post. I do not expect to see any thesis proving my comment to be nonsensical, lol, who would write such a thesis in such a short time? I am terribly sorry if my attempt at humor somehow interfered with your celebration of Christmas. Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Three Kings Day, Happy St. Lucia and Merry Christmas.

Anonymous said...

Ah, Mr. Grinch...

aka lil slingy
aka lil troll
aka Brooks & Dunn Witya

"Rotflmao." Atta boy. Randy has already given his opinion on memes. I put this right up there with that same level of intellect.

(Clears throat) and here we go. As any educated person comprehends, rules and formatting that may apply to a doctoral thesis or even a high school term paper, do not necessarily apply to a text. It would not be fitting to apply APA or MLA formatting to any sort of post on a blog. The fact that this person continues to run around shouting "look at me, I know what an ellipsis is!",speaks for itself. May I present the following:

Dot-dot-dot can be used systematically to enact linguistic politeness, for instance indicating topic change or hesitation.[34]:

Your first sentence of the above paragraph is a fragment. No subject is present. You seem confused as to when to use commas and semicolons. But you see, most are. You are no different.

"Those who live in glass houses..."

Ah hell, you know the rest.

Happy Festivus Slingy!

Over N. Out said...

Ah Mr. Anionymous,

You left out Kettle Colin Potblack II and Trump S. Satan, and while all the name calling is unnecessary, it seems you tend to blobiate. It would appear you arbitrarily determined that “rotflmao” isa meme. You do not have that authority, and if true, Randy would not have printed it.

(Throws up in mouth) and here we go. As any educated person comprehends, a doctoral thesis writer usually hires a professional dissertation expert to edit said thesis. These comments herein are not texts, memes, or a thesis, but they should be coherent. Dot-dot-dot is a lot of letters to write, as opposed to ellipsis, but do as you please.

If you were unable to determine the meaning of my first sentence, then you have a reading comprehension problem. I was called the “language police” in the exchanges, but it appears you desire such a title. That’s fine if it helps you in any way, but there is no trophy.

I will offer Harry Dewulf’s opinion (a professional literary editor) on the ultimate authority on grammar. “There is not, and never will be, an ultimate authority on grammar. Not in any language. Languages evolve constantly, and grammars come and go. Perhaps the best known expert on the field, Noam Chomsky, has changed his mind more than once on the nature and origins of grammar.”

Anonymous said...

Hey douchebag who keeps using different names, as was pointed out above nothing on here has been incoherent. You understood the original point and so did everyone else. Like most left leaning people you can't debate actual points you have to sidetrack down little rabbit trails trying to cause chaos and distract.

Go ahead, criticize my post for grammatical errors. Pretend you don't understand. Continue making a fool of yourself.

Anonymous said...

Ah c'mon, it's all fun and games. You just can't seem to comprehend (or are deliberately misinterpreting) what I type.
You know full well what I did is not name calling. I was just having a bit of fun with a little benign altering of your numerous, self-proclaimed titles.

I never called your childish abbreviation a meme, but rather likened it to the same lack of intellect.
I won't go through each of your misrepresentations as I am now bored. It is interesting though that you now refer to someone else as an authority rather than yourself.

Sorry your feelings are hurt. As I stated above, it's Festivus! Time to air out all grievances for the year according to the great Frank Castanza!

Oren Janus said...

@ 5:40 & 9:57

I am a frequent commenter in this blog, and have been complimented by my friend, Harvey Hutchinson for having the courage to post my name to my comment. Harvey is a true Trump supporter that appreciates that our president has made America great agin. Our stock market has returned to the level when the last great Republican ran these United States. That’s right, we’re back to 2008, and those 401k’s are where they should be. Harvey is a no nonsense guy, and he will straight up tell you that if you don’t put your name on your post, YOU ARE A COWARD!!! MAGA!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh good, the old you-are-a-coward-if-you-are-anonymous schtick. This time coming from someone using a made up name.