Kim Frencken: Give a little grace

I had a bad day this week. I let my stress seep out to my kids. In other words, I took it out on them. Not the first time and, sadly, probably not the last. I had, as one teacher said, bit off more than I could chew. In fact, I was choking. Up to my neck in paper mâché, paint, ribbons, and hot glue. I could barely breath let alone have any patience.

I kept pushing through my day. Having some small successes and disasters. The kids that got it missed my sharp tongue. The others weren't so lucky. I dismissed it at the time because these kids just don't care. No matter what I do. No matter how hard I try. No matter what I give them. No matter how much time I invest. Nothing seems to make a difference. Nothing seems to make them care.

The same colleague that pointed out the reason for my stress, also filled me in on the kids that were driving me crazy. She started telling me about their homes. Their lives. And as she talked, my justification melted like snow and I began sinking smaller and smaller.

These kids didn't care because what I was teaching was not helping them survive their circumstances. They are in survival mode. They have learned that life isn't kind. They are afraid to trust. They don't know how to show me that they care or that they are interested. And, I, too wrapped up in my own problems, didn't open my eyes to their plight.

A wise teacher once told me that all kids need hugs. Not just the clean ones or the funny ones or the ones that hug back. All of them. Even if they are dirty. Even if they are angry. Even if they give me dirty looks. They are kids. They may use words to lash out. They may be apathetic. But that doesn't give me the right to be. I have to remember to take a deep breath, thank God for my many blessings, and pass on that grace.

I'm also thankful that I have another chance to make things right.

(For more of Kim Frencken's writing and information about her educational products, check out her blog, Chocolate For the Teacher.)