Kim Frencken: Morning people are scary

My clock and I have a love/hate relationship. In fact, I can't find much love in it. I've tried an attitude adjustment. I've tried telling myself that I don't hate hearing the alarm when the rest of the world is still quietly sleeping. I've tried telling myself that it is healthy to get up early. I don't believe myself.

There is nothing positive about getting up in the dark. Nothing. Consequently, my favorite day of the year is Fall Back Sunday. One extra hour. Bliss. Especially after a week of full moon followed by Halloween. Come to think of it, one hour won't be enough.

I secretly question the honesty and sanity of people who say they enjoy the morning. Or people who say they even get up early on their days off. What is wrong with these people? Maybe their mattress is lumpy. Yes, that is definitely the problem. No one. And I mean no one. Gets up before daylight of their own free will because they want to. Something pushes them out of pleasant dreams into the world of reality.

I have to set not one alarm, but two. Two alarms to ring this body into an upright position. How am I? Vertical. That is about as good as it is going to get until I've had some caffeine and reminded myself how many days until sleep-in Saturday. Then my eyelids begin to open and my brain begins to function. I can think again.

Even the mere name 'morning person' brings up scary images in my brain. Someone chipper with a cheery smile. Someone who is perky and bubbly who goes around saying good morning with a smile plastered all over their face. Have they ever thought of toning it down a bit? Maybe they could start off with hello and slowly move to good morning.

I'll bet they even jingle.

(For more of Kim Frencken's writing and information about her educational products, check out her blog, Chocolate For the Teacher.)