Tuesday, May 14, 2019

Paul RIchardson: The joys of living in Sane

(Paul Richardson's column, The Horse I Rode In On runs weekly in the Neosho Daily News and Seneca News-Dispatch and on the Turner Report.)

There is a place in existence in Newton County that lies in a Lapland creating such confusion about where it belongs that I just had to give it a name. This place has a Granby address, Neosho School District, and a Stella (La-Rue) phone number. 

All these conditions are coupled with the fact that no usable internet connection exist beyond dial-up or satellite, there is no cell signal and if one wants to receive a television signal then a subscription to a satellite service is required. What a great place!

This little piece of serenity has such a hold on me that I gave it a name, Sane. Thus, in turn you have Sane City Limits and when you are there you are naturally in Sane. This entire process has some opposition as the good wife refuses to acknowledge the existence of Sane. In the past if someone asked for directions, she would reply that the place existed only in my head. Just give them the directions, already.

This is normally a peaceful place and since there is an absence of certain amenities and advanced technological features, the tendency is to go old school. Dominoes, Scrabble, card games and other such entertainment is utilized quite often. Friends regularly arrive on Friday or Saturday evening sometimes for a meal followed by entertaining activity. Other times one can just walk through the door and let the games begin.

Both the good wife and I like to win and neither likes to lose. When the competition of games is engaged the gloves come off and it can become a bare-knuckle brawl. In addition, my Dear Mother and the good wife seem to join forces and neither seems to care who wins just as long as it isn’t me.

Most of the games are played on an “every man for himself” basis, but there are a couple of guests that we have who will team up on a good card game. The good wife and I are never on the same team. It just doesn’t work, or should we say, has never worked out in the past.

While short of turning violent, accusations are made, names might be called, and doubts always arise. I recall after an extended game of Monopoly in 1984, I accused the good wife of certain unscrupulous actions. 

While she persisted that the accusation was inaccurate, she finally relented in the early morning hours of the following day. 

In order to secure a documentation of her confession, I called another party involved in the game to let them know that the sinister actions had finally came to light. The other party was not nearly as enthused about the information as I had been and kept complaining about receiving this important call at 2:30 a.m. When truth prevails, one needs to be excited!

By all accounts and my general feeling of late is that more and more of our playing partners are teaming up against me. Maybe the wire brush teasing is starting to wear on their old hide, who knows? That does not refer to those who team with me in cards. Those are loyal partners and as I do, seem to suspect a conspiracy on the part of the opposing team during every encounter.

As winter fades and warmer weather becomes more dominate, these activities will be replaced by something more seasonally appropriate. There will still be an occasional game on a Friday or Saturday night, but the longer daylight hours and warm temperatures will provide ample opportunity to get outside and participate in something different. This should help heal the atmosphere in Sane and prepare us for the next season of board game violence. Man, the good wife really hates to lose at cards!

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