Cynthia Davis: Politicians responsible for high divorce rate

In her weekly column, Rep. Cynthia Davis, R-O'Fallon, a candidate for State Senate, makes the argument that politicians are responsible for the high divorce rate:

One of my divorced friends told me her wedding day was the happiest day of her life. Many people feel the same way. I have found that most women desire to have a strong gentleman in their lives to love them, support them, and to respect them as the mother of their children. Most men desire a virtuous lady to be a helpmate, soul mate and lifetime lover.


How do we go from being so happy to have found that special person to the utter devastation of over half the marriages ending in divorce? Divorce Rate : Divorce Rate In America

Mike McManus, who along with his wife Harriet co-founder Marriage Savers, is author of the book How To Cut America’s Divorce Rate in Half. He says on page93, that “Most states have one divorce for every two marriages . . . This pattern which has existed since 1970 is the basis for saying that America has a 50% divorce rate. However, some people have been divorced two or three times. Pollster George Barna estimates that 35% of American adults have experienced a divorce.” The 35% experience rate actually is quite staggering with respect to the cost of divorce –both the emotional cost and the cost to taxpayers.

Until forty-five years ago, marriage was the norm. Millions of children benefited from being raised in a two-parent household. Married couples built wealth more easily and millions of adults were able to retire comfortably on more than just their Social Security check. America also had the strongest economy in the world.

How did our country end up with the highest divorce rate in the world in a little over a generation?

How did we end up with so many impoverished single mothers, troubled children, and crushing deficits from the resulting social program costs?

In large part I blame careless politicians who allowed passage of laws undermining marriage and removing consequences for irresponsibility.

Before the 1960s there was no such thing as “no-fault divorce”. Back then the laws required a reason for breaking one’s commitment to a spouse, inducing pain on innocent children, and causing social and economic problems for states. To streamline and shorten court proceedings, California adopted “no-fault" divorce in the 1960s, and all the other states followed suit except one.

Massachusetts was the first state I remember that legalized “no fault” car insurance. In “no fault” states, there are more accidents, but the insurance companies do not complain because they pass the increases onto their customers and expend less time trying to determine blame. In Missouri if you drive like a maniac, causing accidents for others, your insurance premium will increase according to your behavior.

No-fault divorce has proven to be a disaster for everyone. Perhaps you can make an exception for the lawyers who now can have more cases. Socializing the costs of divorce does not work, just as it does not work for car insurance. Being divorced or an unwed mother is a common indicator of financial hardship for women and children. It can contribute to child abuse and neglect, a smorgasbord of irreversible problems for children, lack of private health insurance, suicide, substance abuse, criminal behavior, underemployment in adulthood, and higher taxes.

For every divorce that pushes a man or woman below the poverty line, it costs the state of Missouri at least $20,000 annually. Most of these serious problems impacting my constituents will greatly decrease in severity and scope when marriage again becomes the norm in Missouri.

There are major problems for middle-class victims of divorce as well. A non-contested divorce, where children are involved, can cost around $10,000 in legal fees and court costs. Hardly any divorced person you speak with was happy with the outcome from custody and visitation issues, not to mention the loss of property value from forced real-estate sales. This is all before factoring in the emotional costs.

Unlike many debates in politics, the adverse impact of divorce on children is an accepted fact on all sides of the political spectrum. So what is the single most important legislation we can pass that will help men, women and children get what they really want and need out of life? How do we begin to make marriage the foundation stone of our society again, helping couples to build wealth, raise their children together and be healthier and happier?

The answer is that we must revise and strengthen our marriage laws.

Scientific studies report that married individuals are the happiest and feel "in control" of their lives, while divorced individuals have the lowest happiness levels and feel their lives are "out of control". Missourians deserve the happiness, security, and natural rights that will occur under better laws than what we have today.

In the eight years I have been in the Missouri legislature, I have consistently supported legislation to strengthen families and marriage. As the chairman of the Poverty Committee, we identified that a lack of marriage was a major problem for single-parent households trying to break free of the cycle of poverty. With help from the Center for Marriage Policy and Marriage Savers, we have filled our tool chest with the right tools that will positively meet the needs of all Missourians as well as serving as a model for the rest of the country. People are hurting and longing for remedies that are fair and workable.

Surprisingly, many legislators are afraid to tackle marriage problems. Some are concerned the subject is too controversial or are weighted down by feelings they harbor from their own divorces. Worse, there is a divorce industry that is profiting off of marital discord. While not to impugn all attorneys, there are some who may feel protective of their income source. Some have earned a “reputation” for being the most cunning or ruthless, playing on the emotions of the traumatized party. Injustices commonly occur when one party is threatened with compounding legal fees. The financial costs inherent in the current system often deter the responsible party from continuing the struggle for fairness.

My husband and I participate in a marriage facilitation program. Many of those who are happily married want do more to help strengthen marriages for other couples. Having been married for nearly 30 years, we have something to offer that is beyond what you can get from some therapists. Proven “Community Marriage Programs”, such as the one we facilitate, will create a climate where marriage-mentoring is available for couples in troubled marriages from long-term married couples who volunteer to pass on the perspective that comes from time and experience.

Additionally, strong shared-parenting laws would remove the conflict related to child support issues---a problem that costs our taxpayers over $59 million non-recompensed dollars each year as well as a good portion of the $183 million per year on childcare. Most parents would rather care for their own children than to be required by the courts to pay others to do it.

My priority for my next term is to make Missouri the first state in the country replacing "no fault" divorce with "Responsible Dissolution" laws. We can finally give Missourians the protections their marriages and futures truly deserve, along with optional tools they need to keep their marriages strong. At the same time, we can make divorce a far less painful, costly, and lengthy event for those whose marriages must dissolve for good reason.

Stronger marriages make stronger families, churches, naturally-sustainable communities, and will ultimately make a stronger country. Join us in this effort. We must end the harm inflicted on thousands, especially all the innocent children, giving everyone hope for justice, fairness and happiness.

The marriage revolution is beginning right here in Missouri. Stay tuned to watch us lead the nation.