That parent. You know the one. The ones who speaks in shades of blue. Their child is never wrong. Their child was making straight A's until they got you for a teacher. Their child hates school for the first time in their life. You pick on their child. You don't like their child. You have favorites. You really shouldn't be teaching. You intimidate children. That parent that finds something wrong with everything.
That child. The one who talks back, argues, and never does anything wrong. The one who bites, scratches, kicks, and screams. The one who is an expert at throwing tantrums. Drama queen. Chief manipulator. Class disruptor. The child that doesn't allow you to teach. The child that keeps everyone else from learning.
I think these parents need to take responsibility for their children. After all, they created them. Children are not born throwing temper tantrums because they didn't get their way. They learn to do this so that they will get their way. They imitate the adults in their lives. They learn to manipulate their parents who either don't have the skills or the time to parent. Let's put them in the same school and teach them together.
Teach these parents how to be parents. Show them what happens when they don't take parenting seriously. Let them see firsthand how difficult it is to teach a child who doesn't want to learn. Let them accept responsibility for their child's test scores, attendance, and behavior. Let these children discover that tantrums do not solve all of their problems. Manipulation doesn't work on everyone. Not everyone is moved by their tears and pleas.
That's what we'll do. Build them a school. Give parents the same expectations that teachers have and give children the expectation to succeed. What a difference that would make! And... I'll venture to guess that some attitudes towards teachers and schools will change. For the better.
(For more of Kim Frencken's writing and information about her educational products, check out her blog, Chocolate For the Teacher.)
14 comments:
I agree that poor parenting is a huge problem in public schools. I am sure the entitled kids/parents you see are a pain. But no one talks about the root problem, and that is economics of the Missouri family. Half of marriages end in divorce. Divorce often leads to single parent homes and with less guidance for kids. Divorce leads to financial struggles. The kids are then dropped at your feet to fix. How does Missouri try to fix this? Easy, they have plans to make sure they stay poor, uninsured, and keep kicking them when they are down. Being poor in America often means generations of poor to follow. Some people have the drive to overcome obstacles, while many do not. Our Christian nation simply allows those to keep suffering and is taking away the small steps needed for families to succeed. Greed is the message now. Take funds from public education so the elite don't have to send their precious ones to school with poor kids. No more pre-school, keep cutting school budgets, cut funding for Crowder and MSSU, etc. All so the elite can also get huge tax breaks. Good luck waiting for the trickle down.
It would seem the first lesson in teaching responsibility/accountability would be stop blaming government and society. Take personal ownership of ones plight and figure out how to make it better. I know that’s not so easy after poor decisions and their consequences have occurred. It can be done. It’s hard work, some just aren’t willing to do it.
Most teachers are good. Many are excellent. A few have a negative reputation, well earned. Back in the old days, when I walked uphill both ways, in the snow, there were teachers people were happy to get. There were also a few that caused one to groan if that’s who you got. As in most any profession, there will be some bad apples. If the complaints about a teacher are consistent, year after year, there’s a problem. If the compliments are consistent, that teacher should be applauded.
5:35... I think I love you.
I keep going back to the math of teaching. My wife was a teacher who retired thankfully before everything hit the fan in full force. She started in Kansas where a lot of the kids were Mennonites and the first parent teacher get together she was told it was OK to beat(spank) the kids if they were out of line. If she did need to do this, very seldom if ever, they wanted to know so they could beat them when they got home. The kids excelled and it was a joy teaching in that school. That was 1970's when parents were interested in their children and school was fun for her and the kids as they all learned so play during slack times was feasible. Not so now and I can remember as a kid that when recess hit we grabbed gloves, bats and balls and the boys hit the diamond. Not now, you need a instructor on how to have fun. Oh, if a couple of the boys got into a fight the teacher would watch until it looked like it was going too far and then step in to break it up. Next day the two boys were out playing together like it never happened because we respected one another. As teenagers we drove cars and hung out at the drive-ins for sodas. At school, 2400 students, we might have a fight or two per month in parking lot, but never was a gun or knife anywhere to be found in these confrontations. Some of the trucks had rifles hung in the windows because it was after all hunting season. We even had a gun club in school where we reloaded shotgun ammo and brought our shotguns to school for show and tell. Imagine that in our society today a kid walking down the hall with a shotgun in its case. Schools are suffering as Kim says because of bad parents and not necessarily bad kids.
There used to be social stigma and shame for things like divorce, illegitimate pregnancies, being on welfare, high school drop out, unemployment, drugging and DWI. That was way extreme. Over the years the pendulum has swung clear to the other extreme. Pretty much anything is OK now days and somehow the government is suppose to make things better for those making poor choices. Geez!! There are so few boundaries how could we expect kids (and their parents) to be model citizens?
535- So a child born to a meth addict or alcoholic home should toughen up and deal with it and make better choices? Seriously, please explain why you would object to helping such kids? You expect a teacher to fix these kids while teaching 20 other kids? Mrs. Frencken, what do you think? How do you fix these kids? Apparently some people think they should be getting this out of you AND you should do it for under $40,000.00/year.
7;47
I do agree wholeheartedly with helping these kids, starting with terminating parental rights. But, oh no, that would violate civil rights. If, by some chance they are temporarily removed from the home, the goal is to reunite the family. So, the “mother” continues to draw welfare and have more kids, either selling her food stamp money (the money for kids nutrition) or buying junk food at convenience stores. They have to buy their cigarettes with cash. Heaven forbid drug screens be a requirement to receive welfare. Then there’s the
“fathers”. If they don’t pay child support, let them rot in jail. Oh no, can’t do that. How could the kids grow up and be anything but dysfunctional?
Teachers can’t fix all the problems. They do the best they can with what they’ve got. I certainly don’t have the solution. I just wonder if we stopped being so politically correct and called a spade a spade, stopped enabling all the parasites of society and truly held people accountable, maybe things could change. I’m all for lending a helping hand, problem is so many don’t know what to do with it while others want the whole arm. I may be wrong but what we’re doing isn’t working.
As a taxpayer, I believe that those receiving benefits from the government should be required to show how and where the money is spent. It should be required that an expense report is submitted showing how the tax money the recieve is being used. We expect politicians, who are also paid by tax payers, to show us how they spend our money. Why are those on the dole any different?
842- Railing about welfare or taxes are deflections of the subject here. What do you do with children that start out in these conditions? For teachers reading this I would suggest a story I saw on Huffington Post today. ( I know, all of SW Mo will say its fake news. Sorry, FOX didn't mention it)) Bettsy DeVoss met with the top teachers from each state recently. Many were left disappointed, judge for yourself. I bet though, that come fall, 75% of public school teachers will still vote for these fools and blame it all on welfare.
The article was about teaching parents responsibility. I propose it would start with the radical idea of telling people to "stop having kids if you can't take care of them". We don't do that. We sign them up for welfare and support them for 18 years. Meanwhile, they keep having kids. Those kids grow up and lo and behold, the cycle continues. It's not just simply the idea of being on welfare, it's the lifestyle, home environment and mindset these kids are being raised in. How much self esteem and coping skills can one have when they depend on welfare? How can one teach children something they know little about?
I can't even imagine how the Secretary of Education could be expected to resolve parents irresponsibility. The federal government brought us this dysfunctional, enabling system. It needs to be totally revamped and returned to its original intent, to temporarily help someone going through hard times. If we want to have the government "fix" the situation of irresponsible parents, throw the welfare money at drug/alcohol rehab, job/career training, counseling and more DHS workers to hold people accountable for successful participation. You know, teach a man to fish.....
9:17 -They keep having kids because you make them keep having kids. Missouri has tried to destroy Planned Parenthood for the past several years, which offers birth control. At the same time, tax money goes to viagra! WTF? LOL Missouri has also been fighting minimum wage increases for several years. If you want people to work, you need to pay them a wage that is more than what welfare will give.
That being said, I saw something remarkable on the local news tonight. Minimum wage bills are currently being pushed in Missouri and Planned Parenthood is expanding services. Why the sudden change? Oh yeah, its a good idea unless we have a black man as President. Better late than never I guess.
8:49–OMG
Your comments are anti personal responsibility and accountability.
NOT MY FAULT:
I keep having kids I can’t take care of because of Planned Parenthood funding
I don’t have a job because you won’t pay me what my unskilled talents are worth
Welfare pays better
We don’t have a black president
Tax money goes to Viagara—spend that money on me
Doesn’t Medicaid pay for birth control?
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