Las Vegas authorities investigate clown sighting

Las Vegas authorities are trying to calm residents after a report of yet another clown sighting.over the weekend.

"It's not like the other sightings," a highly placed source in the Las Vegas Police Department told the Turner Report. "Usually we have calls from parents whose children have spotted men dressed like clowns

"In this case, it appears that it was a clown dressed as a man at the Wynn Las Vegas Hotel."

"Were the children scared?" I asked

"No, that was something else that was different. Not only did this guy not approach any children, but he had some well dressed people giving him $2,500."

"That sounds a bit unusual."

"Not at all," my source said "People throw away money in Las Vegas all the time."

"So it really wasn't that scary?"

"We thought it was for a while. We had reports of horrible screaming going on?"

"Horrible screaming?"

"That's what we thought initially, but it was just Celine Dion singing. No wonder the Titanic sunk."

"Did you do anything about the clown?'

"We talked to him. Told him to get his act together. I'm not sure he understood though."

"Why do you say that?" I asked.

"I told him to make sure he stayed out of trouble and he said he would."

"Sounds to me like he understood what you were saying."

"He said, 'You'll never catch me near a town hall meeting."

"Wait a minute," I said. "I think I know that clown."