Paul RIchardson: A salute to those who will not conform

(The author of this post, Paul Richardson, serves as public relations director and event coordinator for the City of Neosho and writes a weekly column that appears in the Neosho Daily News, Seneca News-Dispatch and as of today, the Turner Report.)

In a recent conversation with my friend Jeff Jones, he made a comment about what he has seen in his pottery students. Some of the classes that he instructs are composed of home schooled youth with a range of ages from 5 years old to mid-teens.

It was his observation that the young ones were fearless in their approach. The teenage students however, were more cautious and self-conscious of their work. There were a lot of other conversation that surrounded this note, but his conclusion was that at some point a transformation occurs in which the developing human becomes extremely aware of the opinions of their peers and the community at large. The reaction is to conform.

It is difficult to get some people to conform. Every January a meeting is scheduled with the good wife. At this meeting I like to review the rules for our co-habitation and discuss any pending changes. I don’t think she has ever heard a word I said and I believe this because of all the insane laughter emanating from her! 

While I believe that good structure lends itself to good results, she is more of a free-form hippie type. Each year I approach this with renewed hope, only to be confronted with laughter and statements like, “You’re a goober.” 

Those free-form hippie types can be really mean. She just will not conform.

Every year during the Christmas season we have a little get-together with a few of my old schoolmates. It is a small group composed of people that I attended school with from the time we moved to Newtonia through graduation. 

If you are really know me, then you will appreciate any woman that would put up with me as long as Linda has, now approaching our 37th wedding anniversary and in like kind you should understand the great appreciation that I have for people who have been friends for over 50 years. I am loyal in that way.

It just so happened that one of these friends, who I hold in high regard, gave me a compliment about some of the things that are going on in Neosho. 

These writings and the information put out through social media were items that he had taken notice of. Since he has a long history in the writing and journalism field, the compliment that he directed toward a hack like me was noted and appreciated. 

During my teenage years I would have conformed to acquire his approval and the approval of others. It was when I let go of searching for approval that the end products held merit and were truly me. It’s best not to conform.

Skills are built, whether it is art skills like those taught by Jeff Jones, resistance skills like those demonstrated by my wife, or skills that finally return to the surface after many years. But all of these skills take a time investment. 

Time must be dedicated to that process, specifically that skill, until it reaches it potential and then continues to mature. Conforming can stagnate the skill and it can disappear entirely.

Part of the conversation that I referred to in the beginning included my recollection of a story from years past. This particular tale began when a Chinese Emperor commissioned a painting of a specific bird. Years went by with no word from the artist. 

Finally, the Emperor gathered up his court and made the journey to the city where the artist lived. Upon his arrival at the artist’s location the Emperor asked why he had not seen the finished product. 

At that point the artist picked up his paints and painted exactly what had been requested. When it was completed, having been done in the Emperor’s presence, the Emperor asked why this had taken so long. At this point the artist opened a door to an adjacent room that was filled with paintings of various components of the completed picture. His answer to the Emperor was, “I have spent all these years perfecting each component in order to provide the perfect recreation of this bird.” Conforming may produce quick results, but perfection comes with time.

So, here’s to those who resist, who will not conform, those who keep plugging away and painting perfect bird parts in order to paint the perfect bird. While you may believe that resistance is futile and assimilation is eminent, we will continue to resist. We will resist because conforming will only result in us turning into them. When us becomes them, the end results will continue to be the same. Hopefully you know what that defines.