The company, Community Newspapers Holding based in Alabama, is pitching subscriptions to one of its newspapers, the Joplin Globe.
Those who receive the calls have numerous options when the person at the other end of the line asks for a subscription:
-Laugh! Tell them if Mike Pound ever wrote anything that funny, you would take a subscription.
-Silence. Then say, "Did you hear that whistle? My dog did and he loves your newspaper. Good dog. He used to love the carpet."
-Make a strong statement, such as "Not a chance. I read the Turner Report. It may not cover the world, but it runs circles around the Globe." That will drive them crazy.
Consider yourself warned.