Sunday, August 26, 2018

Kim Frencken: The four losers of bad parenting

The first loser is pretty obvious. The child. Children may think that they have the best parents ever when they don't have to do chores or have any rules to obey, but ultimately, they are the biggest loser of all. They are robbed of the safety of structure and guidelines. They are robbed of learning skills that will help them to be productive members of society and pleasant members of society. They will lack true friends. They will grow up without the pride of doing a job well. They will have trouble fitting in with various groups. They lose academically and socially. Most of them do not care because they are taught not to care at home.

The second loser is also obvious. The other children. They lose learning time waiting for the meltdown. They lose instruction because the teacher is focused on one child. They get tired of disruptions. They get tired of being ignored. They don't understand why one child seemingly gets special privileges while they have to follow all the rules and complete all of the assignments. They don't get what is wrong with them. They do what they are told. They try their best. And still the teacher pays more attention to 'the one'. 

Yes, teachers are the third loser. They struggle with trying to teach skills and academics to a child that has no interest in learning and has parents that are not supportive. The teacher grieves for the other students. They stay awake at night promising themselves that they will do a better job paying attention to all the kids. They won't neglect the others, but the next day new problems, new demands, and fatigue takes its' toll. They make it through another day, but at the end of the day feel like failures.

The fourth loser is less obvious. The parents. They may feel like super parents. After all their kids are happy. They don't have to put forth any effort. They don't have to be present. Raising kids is a piece of cake. The kids pretty much take care of themselves. They will only realize the fallacy of their thoughts when their kids grow to resent them and eventually neglect them. You know the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. What was once neglected will become the one who neglects.

Year after year, politicians tell us what is best. They've taken God out of schools, along with discipline, grades, and common sense. They are forcing us to babysit a generation of willful, uneducated kids with a sense of entitlement for absent parents. I think these three piece suits should give every teacher a week's paid vacation and take their place in the classroom. Here's the condition: Follow the rules/laws that they themselves wrote and passed into law. Find out first hand what they are doing to children. Maybe then, maybe, things will change and there will be no losers.

P.S. There is a fifth loser. Taxpayers. We all know that getting something free is a myth. Someone has to pay, and that someone is you, the taxpayer.

(For more of Kim Frencken's writing and information about her educational products, check out her blog Chocolate for the Teacher.)

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